Guide for Parents and Guardians Who are Not Catholic

What Faith Tradition Do You Have?

  • You could be from another Christian faith, such as Lutheran, Methodist, Episcopalian, Baptist, United Church of Christ, or others.
  • You could be a former Catholic who now feels alienated from the Church.
  • You could be Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, or from another of the world's many religions.
  • You could be a non-believer period - taking no particular position relative to religion and being part of none.

Whatever You Are, We Welcome You!

  • To be honest, it's very important to your child that you are faithful to what you believe.
  • Please don't make excuses for not being Catholic. We believe that each of us is called to follow an inner light. If you are called to be Jewish, then you should be a good Jew. If you're called to be Lutheran, then be faithful to that.
  • It doesn't matter in this process: We welcome you no matter what.

How Do You Connect to Your Child's Sacrament?

  • Your child is about to celebrate a Sacrament, and it's important to him or her that you be part of this process.
  • The parent in your household who is Catholic will take the lead in the preparation process, but remember, we are all called to live out the same values that these sacraments embody.
  • The worst thing you can do is to ridicule this sacrament, or to suggest to your child that it's unimportant.

Baptism

  • Your child has been baptized in the Catholic faith. This does not mean, however, that your child is spiritually or even religiously different from you. If you are in another Christian church, we are aware that baptism is baptism, no matter in what church it is celebrated. Let your child know that you share with him or her ONE baptism in Christ. If you are Jewish, Muslim, or from another faith, remember that being in the family of God is not restricted to Christians. Let your child see whatever faith you hold.
  • The parent in your household who is Catholic will take the lead in the process of raising your child with religious values and practices, but remember, we are all called to love even our enemies. We're all called to be aware of those around us, especially the poor, the sick, the rejected, and the hurting. Let your child see you reaching out with compassion and mercy, and from that your child will inherit the faith you also have.
  • In the years between baptism and early elementary school, you and your spouse offer your child formation by showing them love, teaching them forgiveness, demonstrating how to be generous, cultivating a “heart for the poor and vulnerable,” and growing in your closeness with God – these are all very important. Let your child see the love you share as spouses. Let your child see you acting according to your own faith - the best lesson there is!

First Communion

  • Your child is about to celebrate the Sacrament of Eucharist and receive Communion for the first time.
  • We are all called to share in our common life, and that includes everything which binds us together. We're all called to share in meals and create solidarity around the table.
  • Let your child see this aspect of your own belief. Let him or her see that you believe as they do that being together in love, is part of what YOU believe, too. And if you are Christian, then you know that the Lord's Supper comes directly from the Gospels. Even if you do not believe as Catholics do in the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist, you can support your child's emerging beliefs.

First Reconciliation

  • The parent in your household who is Catholic will take the lead in the preparation process, but remember, we are all called to forgive those who've hurt us. We're all called to be aware of our sins and shortcomings - and to seek ways to live more deeply in love. We're all called to reconcile ourselves to what we believe - over and over again throughout life.
  • Let your child see this aspect of your own belief. Let him or her see that you believe as they do that awareness of wrongdoing, sorrow for it, and a firm desire not to repeat what went wrong, is part of what YOU believe, too.

Confirmation

  • Your child is about to celebrate the Sacrament of Confirmation. This is a sacrament which he or she will celebrate only once because it marks your child as a person of faith for life!
  • We are all called to share in our commitment to faith, and that includes everything which binds us together.
  • Let your child see this aspect of your own belief. Let him or her see that you believe as they do that being together in love, is part of what YOU believe, too. And if you are Christian, then you know that the Spirit of God lives within us. You experience this Spirit at various important times in your life, and so does your child. Let your child know that you believe in God's power to shape and guide us.

Support Your Catholic Spouse

  • Your spouse or partner will be trying to add faith elements to your daily life as a household. This will go much better if you are part of it.
  • Don't boycott his or her attempts to integrate religious faith into your home, but allow it to enhance your family and household life.
  • You don't have to be Catholic to support Catholic practices.
  • Thank you in advance, by the way, for what you are about to do. Often, the spouse or partner who is not Catholic gets "lost" in the shuffle of Advent, Lent, the sacraments, and other church celebrations.

Learn About What Your Child Is Going Through

  • Please take the time to read the summaries of what the Catholic Church teaches about the sacrament(s) your child will receive (see above).
  • Talk to your child and ask questions. This will help your child learn and it will show him or her that you are supportive. The gift you give to your child now will last a lifetime. Your child will come back to the values behind these sacraments-- celebration, community, forgiveness, faith commitment, and the freedom they feel afterward---again and again, but especially when times get tough.
  • Attend the celebration of the sacrament with your child and spouse.